Monday, October 22, 2012

Friends & Friendship

Okay, so today seems to be a rare day; this is going to be my second post in a day! I guess I've ignored my blog for a long time (some have gone from calling my blog to be 'dormant' to 'dead'!), but today, the words seem to be flowing.

This was a comment from my sister on my a post 'The Pet Leopard' and I thought of writing a separate post to reply to it.

".. aam.. Talking about friends and having *soo many of them*.. I had a some things that I noted and I wanna share em with you. Do you know that the Oxford word of the year is *Unfriend* (to remove someone off a Social Network like FB) 

-1- If you are on Facebook, how many friends do you have?

-2- What is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance?

-3- Compare "friend" to "comrade (in arms)". Comrades have a reason, perhaps even a life and death reason, to associate. Why do "friends" associate?

-4- Do friendships, just like "emotional relationship" but perhaps to a lesser degree, require "work"?

-5- What is the difference between a Facebook friend and a "real" friend?

-6- What is a "real" friend?

Answering all of this, i believe, would be a lot of work for you.. But I'd be glad if you could do that.. rather if anyone could do that :D"


Gugs, here's what I think about friends and friendships...

I feel that in this world of Facebook and Twitter, the definitions of a 'friend' and an 'acquaintance' have become muddled, and these words are often used interchangeably. But, in my view they are vastly different. Facebook may call everyone on your list, a 'friend', but the reality is vastly different. Most of the people on the everyone's lists are 'acquaintances'; people you've met somewhere and want to get in touch, or stay in touch - maybe 'potential' friends; but, not friends for sure. The one thing that differentiates friends from acquaintances is the feeling that you've for them, and whether you care, or not.

Friends do not associate for a reason; rather, 'friendships' based on the foundation of a reason, or a vested interest are often short lived. I've heard this many times that the bond of true friendship can only be forged in the childhood, or maybe it can only come into existence if two, or more people meet in PERSON. But, my views and experiences on this are different, in fact, vastly different; friendship doesn't know any boundaries, physical, or those of age. You can find a friend anywhere, and in the most unexpected ways. I believe a lot in Destiny and Karma, and feel that it has a lot to do with all of this. People come into your life when you may not be expecting them to come, change your life for the better or worse (in both cases, we learn important lessons and grow); and sometimes, they stay, sometimes not.

Friendship is an emotional relationship too, because without emotions, it cannot be a friendship at all. And, like any emotional relationship, it requires nurturing, and like you said 'work'. Which genuine relationship doesn't have fights, or problems? But, if it is a genuine bond, it doesn't feel like 'work' and the genuineness overcomes all problems. :)

A 'Facebook friend' may be 'real', and vice versa. But, a 'real' friend is, umm, real. :) You know that a person is your friend and no one needs to tell that to you; you just know. Many a times, sweetness of a person is mistaken to be something else, but if you listen to your feelings, you'll know if the sweetness and emotions are genuine, or not. No one can tell you that, and even if someone did, it won't convince you, till you're convinced yourself. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, Gugs, and I hope that I've answered your questions; I've tried to do so in the best way I could, with what I feel and think. :)

Here's an image that I love; it depicts friendship and a lot of other emotions. :)

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I'd love to hear the thoughts of anyone who reads this, sort of an an open letter to my sister. Until the next time, see you!

The Hug of the Beloved


The inexplicable calm, the unending peace,

The unblemished love, the care unconditional.;

The healing and the faith.. That protected feeling,
The purity and the abandon.. That content feeling; 

The rain and the warmth, the joy and the strength,
The soft firmness and the tender plinth;

The longing, the longing..
The hug of the beloved, the hug of the beloved..

- KB