Friends & Friendship

Okay, so today seems to be a rare day; this is going to be my second post in a day! I guess I've ignored my blog for a long time (some have gone from calling my blog to be 'dormant' to 'dead'!), but today, the words seem to be flowing.

This was a comment from my sister on my a post 'The Pet Leopard' and I thought of writing a separate post to reply to it.

".. aam.. Talking about friends and having *soo many of them*.. I had a some things that I noted and I wanna share em with you. Do you know that the Oxford word of the year is *Unfriend* (to remove someone off a Social Network like FB) 

-1- If you are on Facebook, how many friends do you have?

-2- What is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance?

-3- Compare "friend" to "comrade (in arms)". Comrades have a reason, perhaps even a life and death reason, to associate. Why do "friends" associate?

-4- Do friendships, just like "emotional relationship" but perhaps to a lesser degree, require "work"?

-5- What is the difference between a Facebook friend and a "real" friend?

-6- What is a "real" friend?

Answering all of this, i believe, would be a lot of work for you.. But I'd be glad if you could do that.. rather if anyone could do that :D"

Gugs, here's what I think about friends and friendships...

I feel that in this world of Facebook and Twitter, the definitions of a 'friend' and an 'acquaintance' have become muddled, and these words are often used interchangeably. But, in my view they are vastly different. Facebook may call everyone on your list, a 'friend', but the reality is vastly different. Most of the people on the everyone's lists are 'acquaintances'; people you've met somewhere and want to get in touch, or stay in touch - maybe 'potential' friends; but, not friends for sure. The one thing that differentiates friends from acquaintances is the feeling that you've for them, and whether you care, or not.

Friends do not associate for a reason; rather, 'friendships' based on the foundation of a reason, or a vested interest are often short lived. I've heard this many times that the bond of true friendship can only be forged in the childhood, or maybe it can only come into existence if two, or more people meet in PERSON. But, my views and experiences on this are different, in fact, vastly different; friendship doesn't know any boundaries, physical, or those of age. You can find a friend anywhere, and in the most unexpected ways. I believe a lot in Destiny and Karma, and feel that it has a lot to do with all of this. People come into your life when you may not be expecting them to come, change your life for the better or worse (in both cases, we learn important lessons and grow); and sometimes, they stay, sometimes not.

Friendship is an emotional relationship too, because without emotions, it cannot be a friendship at all. And, like any emotional relationship, it requires nurturing, and like you said 'work'. Which genuine relationship doesn't have fights, or problems? But, if it is a genuine bond, it doesn't feel like 'work' and the genuineness overcomes all problems. :)

A 'Facebook friend' may be 'real', and vice versa. But, a 'real' friend is, umm, real. :) You know that a person is your friend and no one needs to tell that to you; you just know. Many a times, sweetness of a person is mistaken to be something else, but if you listen to your feelings, you'll know if the sweetness and emotions are genuine, or not. No one can tell you that, and even if someone did, it won't convince you, till you're convinced yourself. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, Gugs, and I hope that I've answered your questions; I've tried to do so in the best way I could, with what I feel and think. :)

Here's an image that I love; it depicts friendship and a lot of other emotions. :)

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I'd love to hear the thoughts of anyone who reads this, sort of an an open letter to my sister. Until the next time, see you!

The Hug of the Beloved

The inexplicable calm, the unending peace,

The unblemished love, the care unconditional.;

The healing and the faith.. That protected feeling,

The purity and the abandon.. That content feeling; 

The rain and the warmth, the joy and the strength,

The soft firmness and the tender plinth;

The longing, the longing..

The hug of the beloved, the hug of the beloved..

- KB

The Girl in Black & Maroon - An October Night in Ahmedabad during Navratri

Its Navratri* season, and Garba* is in the air. The night is abuzz with the excitement of people going out for dancing and having fun with friends and family. And its result - this post right in the middle of my exam season! Its based on a fictional setting describing something that happens a LOT all through the nine nights. A guy and a girl meeting while dancing, sometimes talking to each other, and most of the times, just looking at each other and then moving on. Read on..

Part 1 - Karnavati Club, Ahmedabad. (A famous garba location in Ahmedabad)

He had gone to the Club to soak in the Navratri spirit with friends and get a respite from his busy schedule. They were dancing and enjoying themselves, and he too was trying to dance despite having two left feet. He was also trying his hand, actually feet, at the difficult steps that the others were doing, and having fun till...... Wham! He saw her.. The girl in Black & Maroon!! (She was dressed in an outfit that had those colors and since he did not know her name, he decided to call her that.) He had taken a break and was standing with his friends. A few had gone to get something from the refreshments stall. And she walked by from between the circle that they had formed for dancing. She was leading her grandpa to some other part of the ground. At first he didn't realize how beautiful she was until she walked by, and then it started sinking in.. and he was flattened! She was so pretty!! The way she was dressed.. the way she had eye lined her eyes with kohl.. her flawless skin.. without much make up.. and the way she was taking care of her grandpa!!

He told about her to his friend and they headed in the general direction where she had gone without much hope of seeing her again, since the ground was filled with hundreds of people. But, then they reached this part of the ground where a trained group of dancers was dancing amazingly well and doing stunts. They were surrounded by a lot of amazed onlookers, and to his amazement, one of the onlooker was...the Girl in Black & Maroon! She was standing there with her grandpa, and later he noticed that she was joined by her mother. He and his friend watched the dancers for a while, and when it ended, they all headed for the refreshments stalls, including she and her family.

Part 2 - His home.

Later in the night, he lay on his bed thinking about her. He was fast forgetting the way she looked, because he had seen her for only a few times and that was from a substantial distance, except two times, once when he saw her for the first time when she had passed by him, and the second time when their gazes met while they were looking at the trained garba dancers. He didn't want to forget the way she looked, because this incident was playing over and over in his head... because this was the first time that he, Mr. Shy Guy, had seen a girl he had never seen before, and was actually not scared to try and approach her to talk. But sadly, she was with her parents and he couldn't talk to her.

Their gazes met quite a few times.. when he first saw her, later when they were seeing the dancers, and also during the break near the stalls. But then, he saw that her father looked in his general direction, and he freaked out and left. Later as he sat down with his friends, he noticed that she was gone. And then, he saw her again! She was going back to the part of the ground that was meant to be used for dancing.. but it was only a small fleeting glance........

He kept thinking about her and wishing that he should have talked to her somehow... anyhow... He could have tried...

And all he could do was think, and hope that destiny would make them meet again, like it did that day... someday, somewhere.. The Girl in Black and Maroon might pop out of nowhere.. and dazzle him with her smile!

* Navratri is a nine nights' festival, celebrated in India to thank Goddess Shakti (Hindu Mother Goddess) and her various forms, for her blessings. And Garba is a traditional dance form performed during this festival by the revelers.