Friends & Friendship

Okay, so today seems to be a rare day; this is going to be my second post in a day! I guess I've ignored my blog for a long time (some have gone from calling my blog to be 'dormant' to 'dead'!), but today, the words seem to be flowing.

This was a comment from my sister on my a post 'The Pet Leopard' and I thought of writing a separate post to reply to it.

".. aam.. Talking about friends and having *soo many of them*.. I had a some things that I noted and I wanna share em with you. Do you know that the Oxford word of the year is *Unfriend* (to remove someone off a Social Network like FB) 

-1- If you are on Facebook, how many friends do you have?

-2- What is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance?

-3- Compare "friend" to "comrade (in arms)". Comrades have a reason, perhaps even a life and death reason, to associate. Why do "friends" associate?

-4- Do friendships, just like "emotional relationship" but perhaps to a lesser degree, require "work"?

-5- What is the difference between a Facebook friend and a "real" friend?

-6- What is a "real" friend?

Answering all of this, i believe, would be a lot of work for you.. But I'd be glad if you could do that.. rather if anyone could do that :D"

Gugs, here's what I think about friends and friendships...

I feel that in this world of Facebook and Twitter, the definitions of a 'friend' and an 'acquaintance' have become muddled, and these words are often used interchangeably. But, in my view they are vastly different. Facebook may call everyone on your list, a 'friend', but the reality is vastly different. Most of the people on the everyone's lists are 'acquaintances'; people you've met somewhere and want to get in touch, or stay in touch - maybe 'potential' friends; but, not friends for sure. The one thing that differentiates friends from acquaintances is the feeling that you've for them, and whether you care, or not.

Friends do not associate for a reason; rather, 'friendships' based on the foundation of a reason, or a vested interest are often short lived. I've heard this many times that the bond of true friendship can only be forged in the childhood, or maybe it can only come into existence if two, or more people meet in PERSON. But, my views and experiences on this are different, in fact, vastly different; friendship doesn't know any boundaries, physical, or those of age. You can find a friend anywhere, and in the most unexpected ways. I believe a lot in Destiny and Karma, and feel that it has a lot to do with all of this. People come into your life when you may not be expecting them to come, change your life for the better or worse (in both cases, we learn important lessons and grow); and sometimes, they stay, sometimes not.

Friendship is an emotional relationship too, because without emotions, it cannot be a friendship at all. And, like any emotional relationship, it requires nurturing, and like you said 'work'. Which genuine relationship doesn't have fights, or problems? But, if it is a genuine bond, it doesn't feel like 'work' and the genuineness overcomes all problems. :)

A 'Facebook friend' may be 'real', and vice versa. But, a 'real' friend is, umm, real. :) You know that a person is your friend and no one needs to tell that to you; you just know. Many a times, sweetness of a person is mistaken to be something else, but if you listen to your feelings, you'll know if the sweetness and emotions are genuine, or not. No one can tell you that, and even if someone did, it won't convince you, till you're convinced yourself. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, Gugs, and I hope that I've answered your questions; I've tried to do so in the best way I could, with what I feel and think. :)

Here's an image that I love; it depicts friendship and a lot of other emotions. :)

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I'd love to hear the thoughts of anyone who reads this, sort of an an open letter to my sister. Until the next time, see you!

The 'Pet' Leopard

The bunch of 10-12 year old kids watched with wide open eyes as the guide put his hand inside the bars of the cage and petted the leopard inside it!! They were scared.... and amazed at the same time. The leopard was behaving as if he was a pet dog!!

The guy (let’s call him Mr. X) turned to the kids and said that it was a wild leopard and none of them should even think of doing what he just did. "He will bite your hand right off!!", he said. The kids gasped!! And Mr. X only smiled. He could see it written in their eyes. They were seeking an explanation, and he was about to tell them one of the biggest truths of life.

“This leopard was badly injured and rejected by his peers when we found him. He was in a bad shape, and everyone thought that he might not live. But, I decided to do something about it. I gave all that I could to the poor animal...medical attention, care, companionship and love. Yes, Love. I gave it to him at a time when he needed it the most. I cared for him when he was down and out, and had lost the desire to live. At first there was not much improvement. But then slowly, he started responding!! He healed and was back to being the ferocious wild animal that he was.” Mr. X said with a smile on his face. “But there was one big difference. He knew who had been there for him in the times when he was down and out. And he remembers that. And that is the reason why he lets me pet him, because he acknowledges the fact that I was there for him when he needed it the most.” His grin grew bigger, and the kids eyes even bigger!!

And one of the kids in that group started a blog called ‘Spring Blossoms’, much later in his life. Me.J

That incident left a life-long impression in my mind, and a lesson I need to remember, but forget repeatedly. The love given by a friend in times of need has the power to tame even a wild animal, leave alone the supposed civilized humans. At times, I forget this while figuring out who my 'friends' are and who are 'the others'.

We might have many ‘friends’, but we fail to realize the difference between friends and acquaintances. The ones, who are there for you when you need them, when you are down and out, are the Friends. The rest, you might want to call them acquaintances or something else, but definitely not friends. I had learnt an important lesson that day – “Be there for your friends, and value those who are there for you when you need them, with your life.”

THANK YOU ALL MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS. YOU ARE MY ANGELS. J (I need not name anyone, because you know it. J)

Life is Fragile.... Love is Not...

I had written this post a few days back, but couldn’t post it since it was raw. Finally putting it up over here.

8^th June, 09

Today i saw a movie... ‘A Perfect Day’... And to say the least, I was touched by the movie. I mean i know that all the movies have some or the other message, but movies like these preach you something very important about what we call 'LIFE'.

This movie talks about a guy who is reasonably well off, and then he loses his job, and is disheartened & low on self confidence. But, then his loving wife tells him that she believes in him, and how he should try to pursue his hobby of writing. She helps him in writing it, and the story he writes is inspired by his wife. He does, and he touches hearts of all the people who read his book. He becomes hugely successful, but then he starts ignoring his family, and the success starts getting to his head. He starts hurting his wife, his daughter, his father and all the other people behind his success. But, then thanks to his agent, and her little trick with the help of her friend, he comes around. It takes the fear of death; the fear of losing his wife and daughter that takes him to realize his mistake.

Part I -

Most of the times in our lives, we take most of the things that we have for granted, not bothering to stand back and think…think about how blessed we are. And, it is only when we lose them that we realize our mistake. But then, it is too late to do anything about it. This stands true for almost all aspects in our life, and the most for our loved ones. This is unintentional at most of the times. Sometimes, it is because of the extremely busy life that we all have these days, and sometimes it is because of what we call – pride, the pride goes to our head, and we start forgetting about where we came from, our roots. This is what is the beginning of a disaster is. When we start forgetting our roots, our struggle, the effort it takes to reach the place that we manage to reach, and take things for granted. The irony is that, a person gets so busy in trying to make life better for the loved ones that he doesn’t get time for those very people. We don’t realize how loving and caring our parents and friends are, until we are served with some rude awakening by God. Poof!! It vanishes!! The tumble, the loss of a loved one, or loss of a plush job, something like this brings you back to earth with a thud.

So, I feel we should try and take time out for the ones who matter, because you never know when life might take them away from you. Life is very fragile, and short. Make time for the ones who matter - your family and friends. Remember to return calls, drop into a friend’s house without any particular reason, have a small chat, make a small cup of coffee / tea for your parents, or paint with your kid, spend time the ones you love doing anything, no matter how petty.

Part II -

The guy in this movie goes to his Dad, while he is trying to make amends of his selfish and hurtful ways. And there he tells him that he dislikes being called by the nick name ‘Einstein’ given to him by his father, because he feels Einstein was one of the greatest and he is nothing like him, and his Dad uses it to mock him. And when he tells his Dad about what he thinks about the name, his Dad tells him that he called him by that name because he feels his son had great potential and that he was capable of doing great things.

This happens to us too so many times. We assume, we draw our own conclusions about things, we think in ways which might be completely opposite of what the reality is. This holds true especially in the scenarios where our loved ones and close friends are involved- the people who know us well. Most of the times we feel that they are saying something we don’t like because they are angry, or because they feel we are worthless, or there must be some vested interest for them saying what they say. But, trust me on this; I feel there is NO SELFISH MOTIVE behind what the people real close to us – like our parents, wife, grandparents, kids etc., have to say. I mean, yes, at times, it can be clouded by anger or some other things, but eventually (it might be a minute, or longer), they do come around, and wish for our VERY BEST. If you don’t believe me, try seeing something like the passing out parade of the IMA Dehradun, or the felicitation ceremony of soldiers in the Independence Day ceremony, or a convocation ceremony of some college. There, you would observe students and soldiers joyous and filled with pride, but if you would observe closer, you would see that the people even more proud are the parents – chests swelling with pride, and eyes filled with tears. No matter what a parent says, he always feels his child is capable of touching the stars, and that is a reality, because the powers of blessings and self belief are amazing. Anything and I mean ANYTHING can be achieved, if you believe in yourself, and works towards getting it. But, don’t forget your parents or doubt their advice.

I feel that basically though initially I had set out to write about not letting success go to your head and always loving your family and friends, I guess I have also written a fair bit on how important it is to believe in yourself. Always believe in yourself. J … Work towards your goals, and do not forget your roots, and do not forget to be grateful to your parents and God.

So, love your family and friends, take time out for them, and never let success go to your head. Freak out with your friends and family, have fun with your siblings, kids, friends, make the most of now. And sometimes, when you realize that you have done some mistake, admit it, and go back to them. They would take you back when they would see that you have realized your mistakes. Don’t think about what they would feel, or whether they would be angry, because, life is fragile…love isn’t. J I’m not saying that nothing can make us stop loving. There are many things that can lead to that. All I’m saying is that, it takes a LOT to sever the bonds of love. Much more than what we think, and way beyond things like anger, self obsession, greed, doubts etc. or events like bitter fights, ignoring your loved ones, or maybe forgetting to be thankful and humble. It is surprising to see how many problems love can endure and still be there or maybe resurface. Don’t assume, or let go something as precious as love, without giving it a proper thought and fight.

What I said is a lot easier said than done, and I don’t feel I too do it all the time, but then I hope this post would remind this to me all the time. J

And this post only reconfirms my belief... you can blog only when it comes from within.. when you are touched by something deep within... That is when the words just flow... :) ... I'm sorry for being irregular in writing over here.. but guess you guys would understand... :) ...

Everything happens for a REASON...

During the past few days, rather months, a few things have happened that I, as at the moment, am forced to think were not so good. I feel things could, rather should have been different. I was forced to leave a company which many (including me) dream to get into. And, I have my CA exams in november. I so want this course to get over now. I'm eagerly waiting for getting those 'two alphabets - CA' as a prefix in my name. Life seems to have hit a rut. But, as it has happened in the past.....

[Past - After my 10th grade Boards I was all set to get into the science stream..to be able to pursue my long cherished dream of doing Software Engineering. I was always fond of computers,and this was something that I had always thought of taking up as a career. I had filed my form for getting readmitted in my school (in Ahmedabad) in the 11th grade in the science stream. But,when I went for submitting the form, I found out something that would change the course of my life forever. I remember it very vividly. I had gone to my school with my Chachu, and Dad was at office. They said the criteria for getting into science was 60 marks each in Maths, Science and English, and I had 89 in Science, 85 in English, and 52 in Maths................. I was shattered !! Maths had always scared me. Thanks to a teacher in my 9th and 10th grade, I had become Arithmophobic. And now it had led to this - NO SCIENCE....................... I went back to home, spoke to Dad, and he managed to convince me that commerce was not a bad option at all. I somehow filled in my form and got into commerce, and I ended up losing touch with most of my good friends in school who had taken up engineering in various colleges. Their bonds grew stronger, and I got left out. :(

And after only 10-15 days of studying in that school, we moved to Surat, and over there I could have taken up science. But, I had made up my mind. So I continued with commmerce, and I used to hate it in the beginning. But, gradually I started liking it, and then we moved again, this time to Rajkot. I did my 12th grade frm there. Over there I enrolled for taking Maths and Accounts tutions, and to my surprise, I started loving both the subjects. I got to study and clarify my concepts from two wonderful teachers (concepts - one of the most important things that one needs to undersntand and like a subject), and I scored well in both the subjects, 90 in Maths !! GoodBye Arithmophobia, Hello Commerce !!]

I have this huge regret, or whtevr u wud call it. First, I was this complete shy and introvert baby in school... no fun, only books & a few friends, with whom I couldn't even maintain contact due to my frequent moves from one city to the other. And then I wasn't able to enjoy my college life. During my Grad, I was in a college in lucknow (my Dad is a banker, and we kept on moving frm one place to the other) and to top it all, the college was a boyz college. No activites, no fun, not many friends, just sucky politics, elections and nothin else. And I'm a student of CA which is a self study course, so no classroom studies, no college, no college group... nothing.

I so feel that i hv missd out the college group fun - the night outs, the road trips, the hostel fun and the not so fun part of it, the games on college LAN... Oh God... how could i miss so many things ??? I was so not into fun...................

But now, when I look back at those petty things in accounts which used to freak me out at that time, I get amused. I now feel that it was so silly of me to think of it like that. The only problem was that I took some time to adjust. By God's grace, things have turned out fine. I'm pursuing two courses which I'm goin to finish soon, I did a substantial part of my internship from a very good place...something which I always dreamed of, and I can say that I have a good set of friends (Touchwood..!!) But still I'm getting this feelin that I mentioned in the beginning of this post.. of life having hit a rut. But, I get a reassurance from the fact that in the past too things were seemingly pretty bad, and my life had taken a completely different course from what I had wanted. And it was all for good. So many things that are happening now, my friends, the cities that I lived in, my experiences, the whole way that I live life, might not have happend had I filled my form for the science stream. I don't know what they would have been, but as I have mentioned in the title of this post... 'EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON' !! I guess there were some very good reasons for evrything that happened... some that I can see.. and some that I can't. One that I can see is that if it wud not hv been this way, then I wudn't have realized the value of such things, people and experiences, which I now do.. immensely. And, thus I'm trying to make the most of it, because these years of life...The Best Days (refer my earlier post)... they are never going to come back (time never comes back, but these days are extremely special). I'm trying to have a bit of fun, and by God's grace, have been able to come - into contact / back into contact, with a few people whom I consider to be my good friends. :) And then, later on when I would do my MBA, I'm going to make sure to make the most of it, make up for all that I have missed in the past... :) ... Yaaaaayyyy... :P :D ...

I read this wonderful mail today...

'God know exactly and with perfection about what is being allowed to happen to you in your life at this precise moment...

His purpose is simple..He wants to show you things that only you can understand by living what you are living, And by being in the place you are now...'

I know God's watching over me, and thus I'm open to all the surprises and challanges that life has in store for me. I'm sure many would not agree to this, and even I would not feel this way many times in my life. But, then I would look at this post, think about my past, and try to get back in sync with the twists and turns. :) I try to be flexible, and would continue to do so, and enjoy the journey as much as the destination !!

So Life... Bring it on...!!! :)

500....

What will you do if you were given Rs. 500 ??

What would your answer be ?? "Buy clothes... go for a movie... hv a nice biryani in a good eatery... BLOW IT UP on booze... buy a BRANDED UNDERWEAR...!!! " or wud it be... " ONLY Rs. 500 ?? ahh nothing...!!!"

There could be a completely opposite side to this as well... the answers might be ... "pay fees for my school... buy books or vegetables or other groceries for my home... or wud it be... "spend some on my children and save the rest...!!!"

I saw this video on you tube recently... and it was startling to say the least... how many times do we think before spending Rs. 500 or even much more for an evening out at some plush restaurant or coffee bar... or for buying some branded clothes... alcohol... or smething like a cell fone recharge or bill payment ??

There are MANY MANY MANY people in India and across the world who are struggling to earn enough money to buy two square meals a day... leave alone earning and spending it for medicines or education... All the government is doing is giving us 'statistics' ... and earmarking huge amounts of funds for its projects to help the poor... but how much of it is actually reaching the needy ?? A trickle... mayb less...

But its not just the government to be blamed... we ourselves are so reckless in spending sums of money which would be beyond the wildest imaginations of a huge majority of people... And i'm not sayin that i don't do this... i too am just as reckless and ignorant as many others... and i feel bad about it... really bad... We too are equally guilty... we don't have any right to blame anyone else...

Have you ever thought about how the value of Rs. 10 changes when we are in a temple and in a shopping mall ??!!

Poverty forces 70 % of the school going children in India to drop out of school before they reach the secondary level. (Source - Open Space India)

Think about it... I too would try to make an effort to change this... because i know.. how a small child, who is forced to 'shine' other people's shoes has a shine in his eyes when he gets Rs. 100 from a 'generous' stranger... I'm not saying that we stop spending at all.. and give it all away... no.. it is insane.. and not possible as well... All i'm saying is that if we make a little contribution... periodically... It would not make much of a difference in our lives... Maybe one less trip to the nearby CCD... But to them it can be a year at school.... or fees for the medical aid of their children... Because that would be INDIA SHINING... Shining with the sparkle in the eyes of the needy.... May God be with us... :) ...

Cheers...

The Best Days...

Today it seems that i just cant stop myself from witing one post after the other... Its a Bloggy Good day today... lol...

so now... on with the blog...

i saw some of my childhood pics... and today i saw a baby pic of one of my frenz... n i recalled a question that a friend had asked me many years back... "what do you think was the best phase of your life..till now"...n pat...my reply was... "my childhood...when i was really young and used to live with my grandparents..." he asked me a smiple question... "did you know at that time that it was the best phase of your life".... and then it hit me... our childhood is undisputedly the best phase of our lives... whn we dont have any worries... no responsibilities...and we r spoilt by our parents...and grandparents... we dont have any pretensions in our mind... we do what our heart says... blissfully unaware of all the worries n tensions... but... the most imp thing is that we dont enjoy it conciously... we were not aware that what we had was one of the most treasured moments of our lives...and thus it doesnt qualify as the 'best phase'... i feel that the best phase is when you are aware that yes...this is th best phase of my life...most of the times we dont realize what we r living right now is th best phase... it might be our childhood or any other age later on...we give in to the human tendency...longing to do something else.. not realizing that what we have right now might be one of the best things...whn we r kids we want to grow up... when we r in school we want to goto college... and whn we grow up...we want to be kids agen...!!!! we are never satisfied... we need to enjoy each n every moment... rathr conciously enjoy it... coz life is a mix of struggles n joys... for the want of the larger joys... the little bits of joys shud nt be ignored...

coming back to the discussion bout the phase....For many it might be their college days... or mayb their school days ... in the senior classes... for some it might be the days when they see their kids grow up into fine people... it can be anything...

im nt picking my college days...coz i hardly attended college... i was in lucknow ... my Dad got transferred ovr thr... n my college out thr...although one of the best in lucknow... was so so... oh forget it... its just not worth talking bout it in this post which speaks of the best phase of my life...n not evn my school days which were spread ovr various cities and schools... coz at that time i was a very different person... too shy... had a small number of frenz... i lost touch with them whn we moved out of the city... and somehow whn i did regain touch... i found out that most of them had movd away... the warmth was missing................. :( ..

for me... till now.. it has to be th current phase of my life... the time when im just beginnin my career... when im getting my training in a reputed firm... living in the city of opportunities... making new friends... and when im starting to earn a bit... although its just my stipend... which i feel is just some extra pocket money for me... but it has given me the power to be independent... to do things on my own... now im no longr dependent on my parents for each and every need of my life... in fact now i also sometimes surprise them by paying my own college fees... or buying some small gifts for my family... the smiles on their faces give me immense satisfaction n happiness... th feeling that i feel cannot be expressed in words... its somethng which im sure most of us would understand... the phase of life from where you start to be independent... and you start to do little things to bring happiness on the faces of your loved ones like they used to when we were youngr...

i know im very young and i have to see a lot of things in life... and its too early to sit and think bout the best phase...but i felt like writing bout what i hv felt till now...there r a lot of things that i would want from here on... in fact as i said...this is just the start...and im sure better days r to come... but thn till now this has to be it... hands down... im thankful to God...my parents..grand parents..my friends..and everyone else who has contributed to whatevr little i hv achieved till today... im thankful to them for making me able enough to see this phase... :) ...

The Mask....

The words of a song i heard some months back...

Facing the world with a smile...They don't see wat is hid inside...
They see all the happiness..They don't see the tears i have cried...

this made me think...this world we live in... the framework of society... the very psyche of people is full of hypocrisy....pretense...masks...people pretend to be somethng different from what they are...i used to hate such people... and used to try n stay away from such people... coz i dint understand the need for such behaviours... but as i grew up... i observed... i learnt thru my experiences that its very very important to keep some cards close to your chest... you have to keep certain aspects of your personality to yourself... i'm nt saying that being a hypocrite is correct... it never was... and it never would b right... but then there is a difference between wearing a mask to protect the inner child... the innocence... and wearing a mask just for the heck of it... or to do so for onez selfish reasons...n its worse when such a mask is worn to hurt otherz....

i feel wearing a mask in the society is important... coz otherwise thr r people who r sitting out there.. waiting to pounce upon you and take advantage of your honesty... this world is not meant for the people who r naive to the extent that they dont realize when are they being exploited...you have to be careful and speak in a careful measure... speak only what is required...

but then i also dont intend sayin that this mask has to be there at all times... therez absolutely no need for it when you are with your friends...your near and dear ones... the ones you trust... the ones with whom you feel comfortable...n this is where most of us err...trust the wrong people... or trust the people who ought not to be trusted... and end up getting hurt... or taken advantage of.. in whatever way that might be...

so one needs to be careful...very very careful...and put on a mask where it is needed to protect the inner child... the 'Spark' ... the innocence inside us... as the song goes...put on a brave face...no matter what you might be feeling inside...let it be known to only the 'right' people... but who are the 'right' poeple... well... we all r learning... getting hurt... n learning evn more...and it never stops...and im not saying that im very good at this...coz i too m learning...

The Blind Man...

Finally...After a long break...today im blogging once agen... i feel blogging is something like any other creative activity... you need to have that thing... that motivation.. somethng which makes you feel like writing... but thn it can also be seen from the other point of view... a blog can be on any and every thing about life... things which we see evryday... things which we think about... things which otherz think about... n wat not... what has prompted me to blog today was an incident which had happend a few days back... about a blind man...but somehow i wasnt able to write about it... today after reading a lovely blog... i felt like writing about that incident...

a few days back... on a sunday... i planned to go for a movie... n that day i decided to commute by the trusted local trains... while on my way i saw a blind man... n i immediately did what i have been taught by my mother... and something which i feel is so so neccessary for all of us to do... i Thanked God for all the blessings ... for all that he has given to us... things which we take for granted... things which ppl like that blind man... n many others like dont have... The Gift of Sight... Health... and loads of other things like that in life... n i felt like doing somethng for that unfortunate person... I asked him if he needed any help... and he said that he wanted to get on the train in the compartment for handicapped people...so i took him along with me... guiding him... and since i didint know where that particular compartment would come... (i needed to be at the place on th platform where that compartment would come to help him board the train before it started moving...).. i asked the vendors in the shops on the station... n got to know about it... and all this while i was observing... things which we take for granted... avoiding bumping into other people... nt banging your head in the pillar... stepping aside to avoid stepping into something... all this was so so difficult for that person... the only friend he had was his stick... it helpd him navigate through the complex array of things present at the station... although the difficulty he was facing was so so evident... (oh God...i dont know why you do this... why did you have to take the eyes of that man ??????? If it was for his past deeds... please help me not do any such thing in my life... please guide me God...)

i also noticed that he had a very keen hearing ability... he tld me that the place where the compartment for disabled comes at a halt has a loud beeper... that was the day i realized the purpose of the 'annoying' beeper... n found out how important it was for those unfortunate people... i took him to that place... n helpd him board the train after it came... he thanked me... he thanked me for a thing which we feel is such a routine activity... getting on a train... I thank God for giving me sense to help that man...

And yes, one more thing...i feel that whatevr little that we can do for helping other people should be just done... and not told about... just do it n forget it... but i felt like writing about this on my blog to share the feeling wihch i got by helping that person... the immense sense of satisfaction that i got by doing such a small thing... n i feel that after reading this blog... anyone did their little part for helping others... th blog would be worth it... coz as it is said... 'small things go a long way in achieving great results...'

Thank You God for each of your blessings...

Commitment..

Commitment...this is a very important 11 letter word which has a lot of sentiments attached to it. I have heard a lot about it...the views of guys and girls...but i feel there is a huge gap between the views and the reality.

It is a general view amongst girls that guys are afraid of commitment...guys try and find ways to weasel outta any sort of commitment...and usually guys face a lotta flak because of this so-called "commitment fear". But today i would like to do a reality check...is it really as bad as it appears ?? are the girls right and guys actually are afraid of commitment ??

Ok lets begin with the views of guys...i have heard this from a lot of friends...n seen it in a lotta movies...and a particular part of the sitcom "Friends" where the guy goes crazy when he suddenly realizes that he is going to get married and marriage means "A Life-long commitment". I was speaking to some of my office colleagues a few days back...all guys...and they were like "Marriage...I cant imagine getting married and being committed for life...i cant imagine myself being a father and having so much responsibilty..." and this was the general consensus amongst the group. Ya ya...i know all the girls would agree to this and say "See I told You...!!...All guys are afraid of commitment"...thats what the opinion girls generally have...

But i have a completely different view...and thats when i thought of posting somethng on this topic. I feel that more than being afraid of commitment...it is actually the fear of the "Unknown" ..the fear of "What if something goes wrong in this decision ??" that pulls us down...we always fear anything that we are not sure about...be it taking the first step of our life while learning to walk...or walking alone in the dark...or the final moment of our lives...Death...

Commitment too falls in the category of the "Unknown"...most of us are unsure...would it be fine...what if it does not go fine...what if this...what if that...all sorts of thoughts...but i feel this fear is not limited to guys...i think all the girls feel it too...its not right to generalize it with a statement "All guys are afraid of commitment"...coz i think even the girls go through the same feelings...the doubts...the fear...i feel it has more to do with how a particular individual feels rather than the fact that the person is a guy or a girl...its a human tendency. I'm a guy...and im sure i too would feel unsure when the time would come...i too would have fear....but i would not let it pull me down and stop me from getting into the commitment...we never know what life holds for us in future...but then that doesnt stop us from doing so many other thngs...thngs which we do day in n day out...even though just like commitment...we dont know what will happen in those thngs in future...then why single out commitment ?? and why generalize it with a statement that all guys are afraid of commitment ?? thre would be many girls who would be afraid...n there would be many guys...

I feel that this is a very debatable topic...and thus cannot be generalized...i dont intend to start an argument. This is my opinion and i know many will disagree with it. But then this is what i feel and what i stand by. I'm a guy, and i'm not afraid of commitment....period.