Commitment...this is a very important 11 letter word which has a lot of sentiments attached to it. I have heard a lot about it...the views of guys and girls...but i feel there is a huge gap between the views and the reality.
It is a general view amongst girls that guys are afraid of commitment...guys try and find ways to weasel outta any sort of commitment...and usually guys face a lotta flak because of this so-called "commitment fear". But today i would like to do a reality check...is it really as bad as it appears ?? are the girls right and guys actually are afraid of commitment ??
Ok lets begin with the views of guys...i have heard this from a lot of friends...n seen it in a lotta movies...and a particular part of the sitcom "Friends" where the guy goes crazy when he suddenly realizes that he is going to get married and marriage means "A Life-long commitment". I was speaking to some of my office colleagues a few days back...all guys...and they were like "Marriage...I cant imagine getting married and being committed for life...i cant imagine myself being a father and having so much responsibilty..." and this was the general consensus amongst the group. Ya ya...i know all the girls would agree to this and say "See I told You...!!...All guys are afraid of commitment"...thats what the opinion girls generally have...
But i have a completely different view...and thats when i thought of posting somethng on this topic. I feel that more than being afraid of commitment...it is actually the fear of the "Unknown" ..the fear of "What if something goes wrong in this decision ??" that pulls us down...we always fear anything that we are not sure about...be it taking the first step of our life while learning to walk...or walking alone in the dark...or the final moment of our lives...Death...
Commitment too falls in the category of the "Unknown"...most of us are unsure...would it be fine...what if it does not go fine...what if this...what if that...all sorts of thoughts...but i feel this fear is not limited to guys...i think all the girls feel it too...its not right to generalize it with a statement "All guys are afraid of commitment"...coz i think even the girls go through the same feelings...the doubts...the fear...i feel it has more to do with how a particular individual feels rather than the fact that the person is a guy or a girl...its a human tendency. I'm a guy...and im sure i too would feel unsure when the time would come...i too would have fear....but i would not let it pull me down and stop me from getting into the commitment...we never know what life holds for us in future...but then that doesnt stop us from doing so many other thngs...thngs which we do day in n day out...even though just like commitment...we dont know what will happen in those thngs in future...then why single out commitment ?? and why generalize it with a statement that all guys are afraid of commitment ?? thre would be many girls who would be afraid...n there would be many guys...
I feel that this is a very debatable topic...and thus cannot be generalized...i dont intend to start an argument. This is my opinion and i know many will disagree with it. But then this is what i feel and what i stand by. I'm a guy, and i'm not afraid of commitment....period.
About Me
- Karan
- Mumbai, India
- I love my family a lot. I care for my friends, but life has taught me to be careful and not to give anything to anyone who doesn't care for it. A crazy nerd trying to make sense of this crazy life. Have been erratic on my blog due to the craziness all around; but trying to make amends. I think I would stop now and let my blog do the talking. :)
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4 comments:
Hmm...a nice post there boy!Well yah actually i agree with what u have written down over there,we cannot differentiate between people 'wanting to commit' or 'not wanting to commit' on the basis of a man or a woman.It depends on the individual.Lots of women r also there who wudnt want to get into commitment and lots of men wud be there who wud want to get commited.If we delve slightly into the psyche of men n women ,i think ..generally 'no commitment' is attatched to men bcoz of there inherent tendency of being tied down due to this particular phenomena.They feel as if they wud loose their freedom of expression to other females,in case they r tagged down.With women ,its more of an emotional security after being committed,the fact that they cud nestle in wid somebody there to care for.Sort of dependent..not wid everyone..yah but generally.
Women dont like changes but maybe men like thwm..they dont like static life but active one.WE got to read 'MEN ARE FROM MARS N WOMEN FROM VENUS' by JOHN GRAY..haha.
Evereything written here is my personal statement...no offence to any gender..coz these things r more on individual aspects.
hey karan..well said sir..the himan mind is so made,that wenever we are asked to come outa our comfort zones then we get a lil worked up for nothing..basically like u said-venturing into an untouched territory does deter us..
I. for 1 wud not get into anything(and here i dont limit myself to the limitations of commitment in love only ) i mean any and everything that requires more from me than wat i "think" i can give..
anyways,good write up..
i noticed that i hvnt replied to the comments on my older posts, so thought of doing it now..
@ Richa
I'm glad that you saw waht i was trying to say and agree to it. I agree to what you have said about the general phenomena pertaining to guys and gals, but then again, we can't generalize, and you have agreed to that as well.
So all in all, we have a nice agreement over here !! :D
@ Netika,
I agree. Its the tendency of humans to stay in their comfort zones and resist change.
But, then I feel our perceptions about our capabilities are based on our past experiences. New incidences and challenges bring an increase in our very capabilities which even we can't imagine...!! But, then again all of this is very subjective and depends on the situation and the individual involved.
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