During the past few days, rather months, a few things have happened that I, as at the moment, am forced to think were not so good. I feel things could, rather should have been different. I was forced to leave a company which many (including me) dream to get into. And, I have my CA exams in november. I so want this course to get over now. I'm eagerly waiting for getting those 'two alphabets - CA' as a prefix in my name. Life seems to have hit a rut. But, as it has happened in the past.....
[Past - After my 10th grade Boards I was all set to get into the science stream..to be able to pursue my long cherished dream of doing Software Engineering. I was always fond of computers,and this was something that I had always thought of taking up as a career. I had filed my form for getting readmitted in my school (in Ahmedabad) in the 11th grade in the science stream. But,when I went for submitting the form, I found out something that would change the course of my life forever. I remember it very vividly. I had gone to my school with my Chachu, and Dad was at office. They said the criteria for getting into science was 60 marks each in Maths, Science and English, and I had 89 in Science, 85 in English, and 52 in Maths................. I was shattered !! Maths had always scared me. Thanks to a teacher in my 9th and 10th grade, I had become Arithmophobic. And now it had led to this - NO SCIENCE....................... I went back to home, spoke to Dad, and he managed to convince me that commerce was not a bad option at all. I somehow filled in my form and got into commerce, and I ended up losing touch with most of my good friends in school who had taken up engineering in various colleges. Their bonds grew stronger, and I got left out. :(
And after only 10-15 days of studying in that school, we moved to Surat, and over there I could have taken up science. But, I had made up my mind. So I continued with commmerce, and I used to hate it in the beginning. But, gradually I started liking it, and then we moved again, this time to Rajkot. I did my 12th grade frm there. Over there I enrolled for taking Maths and Accounts tutions, and to my surprise, I started loving both the subjects. I got to study and clarify my concepts from two wonderful teachers (concepts - one of the most important things that one needs to undersntand and like a subject), and I scored well in both the subjects, 90 in Maths !! GoodBye Arithmophobia, Hello Commerce !!]
I have this huge regret, or whtevr u wud call it. First, I was this complete shy and introvert baby in school... no fun, only books & a few friends, with whom I couldn't even maintain contact due to my frequent moves from one city to the other. And then I wasn't able to enjoy my college life. During my Grad, I was in a college in lucknow (my Dad is a banker, and we kept on moving frm one place to the other) and to top it all, the college was a boyz college. No activites, no fun, not many friends, just sucky politics, elections and nothin else. And I'm a student of CA which is a self study course, so no classroom studies, no college, no college group... nothing.
I so feel that i hv missd out the college group fun - the night outs, the road trips, the hostel fun and the not so fun part of it, the games on college LAN... Oh God... how could i miss so many things ??? I was so not into fun...................
But now, when I look back at those petty things in accounts which used to freak me out at that time, I get amused. I now feel that it was so silly of me to think of it like that. The only problem was that I took some time to adjust. By God's grace, things have turned out fine. I'm pursuing two courses which I'm goin to finish soon, I did a substantial part of my internship from a very good place...something which I always dreamed of, and I can say that I have a good set of friends (Touchwood..!!) But still I'm getting this feelin that I mentioned in the beginning of this post.. of life having hit a rut. But, I get a reassurance from the fact that in the past too things were seemingly pretty bad, and my life had taken a completely different course from what I had wanted. And it was all for good. So many things that are happening now, my friends, the cities that I lived in, my experiences, the whole way that I live life, might not have happend had I filled my form for the science stream. I don't know what they would have been, but as I have mentioned in the title of this post... 'EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON' !! I guess there were some very good reasons for evrything that happened... some that I can see.. and some that I can't. One that I can see is that if it wud not hv been this way, then I wudn't have realized the value of such things, people and experiences, which I now do.. immensely. And, thus I'm trying to make the most of it, because these years of life...The Best Days (refer my earlier post)... they are never going to come back (time never comes back, but these days are extremely special). I'm trying to have a bit of fun, and by God's grace, have been able to come - into contact / back into contact, with a few people whom I consider to be my good friends. :) And then, later on when I would do my MBA, I'm going to make sure to make the most of it, make up for all that I have missed in the past... :) ... Yaaaaayyyy... :P :D ...
I read this wonderful mail today...
'God know exactly and with perfection about what is being allowed to happen to you in your life at this precise moment...
His purpose is simple..He wants to show you things that only you can understand by living what you are living, And by being in the place you are now...'
I know God's watching over me, and thus I'm open to all the surprises and challanges that life has in store for me. I'm sure many would not agree to this, and even I would not feel this way many times in my life. But, then I would look at this post, think about my past, and try to get back in sync with the twists and turns. :) I try to be flexible, and would continue to do so, and enjoy the journey as much as the destination !!
So Life... Bring it on...!!! :)
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